indolentia

the play was great yesterday! even if it was my second time to watch it! ;) the movie that we watched before was also great hehe :D the night was great too because there was a lot of Celadon people in Oody's... the food...ice monster afterwards...whee it was surreal! :D to top it all off i got some alcohol in my system in the early morning which really cleared my head! :D when i was back home at 230am i immmediately changed to my sleeping clothes and dropped into bed! :D then came the realization that something was still amiss... i had just experienced momentary indolentia : freedom from pain...

even if everything about yesterday was great and it easily thwarted off some of my sad thoughts eventually the experience was short-lived... reality always comes back to haunt you... a night out with friends may be fun but your friends do not hang aroung you 24 hours and once you are alone again everything just comes back...

and when everything comes back hmmm... how do i say it... ahhh all hell breaks loose in your head... it's like a geyser that was plugged and the pressure just pops the plug out of place...after a while the thoughts run around your head...and eventually will settle down so that everything is just as it was...chaotic...

somehow i'm not deeply saddened that my mind is thrown back into chaos again because it makes me realize the importance of having some company around you... having people around really helps "distract" you from your normal thoughts and gives you a well-deserved break! and because of this i dedicate this blog to those i was with last night and this early morning "thank you very much!" :D

side note: even if the thinking causes pain...it really is hard to stop... i don't love pain... but it's essential... so is thinking...

sentimental value

i recently had an insight on something that i had to write about immediately...

i am a very sentimental person and what i mean by this is that i love attaching meanings to simple stuff sometimes even pieces of paper that according to my mom looks like junk... my mom on the other hand just loves to throw away useless stuff or at least those that look useless... this is a serious source of conflict since there are some stuff that i do not want thrown away but she insists...

why am i saying this...well, even if i could hate my mom for doing what she wants sometimes i really have to prove myself right that keeping some "useless" stuff is also good and now i have proof... after scanning through some of my junk i stumbled upon a handwritten letter from my mom which dates back 8 years ago (10-24-96)! there was even a time as to when exactly the letter had been written (3:25pm) if my math is right then i was only ten at the time... this seemingly "useless" paper was a letter for me saying that while my mom was at the seminar she was thinking of me...right pretty sappy... but my point here is that certain stuff such as these should not be just thrown away... aside from the simple yet very sincere message that it carries, the value attached to it is priceless!

somehow, this insight has let me to believe that i am still sane and that my mom's constant nagging of throwing stuff away has to stop...who knows another "useless" piece of paper may actually turn up at the right time and show how meaningful a relationship a mother and son should have...

skotodinio

wow! my first blog! i never thought i'd give it a try but here i am hehehe (thanks to a friend who invited me, i finally tried it out!) :D

anyway, to start this off i'd like to introduce my blog title "without wax" a lot would probably ask what it means but as a teaser, i will not tell anyone what it means! :D hehe

as for the title of this post...let's just say i was studying too much philo...i was supposed to have my midterms last wednesday but due to the bad weather (woohoo!!! or awww...) i wasn't able to go to school for the oral midterms...

the term skotodinio is Greek i think and it means spiralling into darkness (roughly translated from Filipino)

this is how i see myself right now as i try to answer questions on my own and as i venture around my head for answers i might never find in there...yes that's right, i'm a thinker and somehow this nature of mine has been both a curse and a blessing...

a blessing for me because it gives me great pleasure to think of a lot scenarios but a curse because i just can't stop thinking...plunging deeper into the darkness...an endless cycle of thinking...it does get tiresome but eventually after a moment of rest the spiralling continues...

thanks to daph i was able to find this and somehow it does appropriately describe what i am like

i guess that is just about all i can say for the meantime, and since this is a feeble attempt to write a blog the next entry might take a while hehehe

important note: today happens to be the birthday of my twinlet, Elaine! Happy Happy Birthday! :D