matches

"Each of us is born with a box of matches inside us but we can't strike them all by ourselves. The oxygen would come from the breath of the person you love; the candle would be any kind of food, music, caress, word, or sound that engenders the explosion that lights one of the matches. For the moment we are dazzled by an intense emotion. A pleasant warmth grows within us, fading slowly as time goes by, until a new explosion comes along to revive it. Each person has to discover what will set off those explosions in order to live, since the combustion that occurs when one of them is ignited is what nourishes the soul. That fire, in short, is its food. If one doesn't find out in time what will set off these explosions, the box of matches dampens, and not a single match will ever be lighted. If that happens, the soul flees the body and goes to wander among the deepest shades, trying in vain to find food to nourish itself, unaware that only the body it left behind, cold and defenseless, is capable of providing that food. That's why it's so important to keep your distance from people who have frigid breath. Just their presence can put out the most intense fire, with results we're familiar with. If we stay a good distance away from those people, it's easier to protect ourselves from being extinguished. There are many ways to dry out a box of damp matches, but you can be sure there is a cure." - excerpt from Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel

this post is somewhat related to the previous... the connection may be a bit hazy but it speaks of a certain human reality that was described effectively by the excerpt above... in cases of despair or hopelessness... one tends to nurse it through wallowing in their sadness as well as accepting their fate... true enough as the text mentions... we cannot strike the matches by ourselves and we need the help of others for that... but by others meaning those who really intend to help... not those who are insensitive as well as tactless... and instead of lifting up our spirits crushes them or weighs down on them... there are people like this and they draw their power by making others feel bad about themselves... other scenarios involve being around people who are able to also pull your spirits down... obviously they aren't helpful... it may not be intentional but what usually happens is that when we are with these people... they drag us down thus further dampening the match we have... in any case whether it be self-inflicted despair or other-inflicted... the important part is the seeking... looking for that cure... as well as finding those that are indeed able to light up the match in you... if for the meantime... one cannot find or access that... i guess there is no shame in trying to keep warm by yourself as long as the context is that this is not done forever or too long because instead of helping oneself... one may end up destroying what one was protecting all along... even if the strong wind can blow out the flame... the flame still needs the oxygen that the wind carries... shielding it from the wind may actually suffocate the flame and put it out...