crazy

today...was quite boring...slept through the morning till the early afternoon even...and well tonight had to be different and spontaneous or i might lose my mind... so a thought crossed my mind during the late afternoon... while i was giving a tour of my new house to my relatives... i suddenly remembered something when i was pointing out our water tank at the back of the house... in the old house... i used to climb our water tank so that i can climb up to the roof of the house and well just stay there... do nothing... sometimes think of stuff... and well even waited for a solar eclipse to happen... but anyway that was in the old house... this time around the water tank was higher than our roof... so i suddenly thought of something... why not try to relive the old times... find somewhere high and isolated to try to sift through thoughts...

so i waited till it was late enough then i looked for my gloves... then i changed my slippers for sandals so that they won't fall off... i unlocked the door to the balcony and looked around... i had to hide for a while because i saw the guard patrolling... it suddenly felt like i was infiltrating our house... i hopped off from the balcony to the roof and slowly and steadily headed for the water tank... the roof creaked a little from my weight so i had to move fast... as i reached the water tank... i immediately grabbed hold of the metal ladder and slowly climbed up... the thing creaked too but it didn't shake so i had nothing to be afraid of... as i got to the middle... i looked around again to make sure no one saw what i was doing... then after a few more bars i made it to the top... when i got there i didn't immediately stand... i just sat and looked around... trying to assess what i really did... then i thought that it would be useless if i didn't make the most of my time up there... so i finally stood up and took a good look of everything around me... the view was excellent... it was so calm and serene... it was a clear sky... even if it wasn't a full moon the moon shone brightly as well as the stars... it was quite cool up there too... after a while... i had to sit down... since i was trying to relive old times... i decided to try and meditate... think of stuff that have been going on in my life... every now and then i had to look down to see if the guard was there so my concentration kept on shifting... but i was able to reflect on some stuff which i think was not really any different from the reflections i have already made... but it was nice doing it somewhere above the world... it somehow had a different effect... well after a while... i decided to go back down... i climbed down but this time around i was able to do it much faster... probably because i got used to it when i went up... i got back on the roof and back up the balcony... i locked the door and well... mission accomplished... no one in the house found out and i guess that made it more exciting for me...

now that i've written about it... some thoughts crossed my mind... the feeling i felt while doing this was a mixture of worry and excitement... fear and bravery... craziness and logical reasoning... with all these mized up i guess... i couldn't even pinpoint why exactly i did what i did... one reason that comes to mind is to fight off boredom... but i don't feel that was the only reason... somehow it just feels great to do something out of context... to do something spontaneous... but that doesn't stop there... it was also nice to do something secretly as well as stealthily... to do something that nobody will find out unless you tell them... it was also nice to relive an experience... to do something nostalgic... i guess i can think of a thousand reasons... but in the end... i feel happy for myself... i did it... and i survived to tell you about it... i guess that is what counts too in the end... despite the perils and danger... i'm alive... and that is an important feeling...