"Celadon Dance Troupe: One Awesome Group!" 

enough

learning to say that... this is enough...enough is enough... being content with one self and what one has... enough said...

crazy

today...was quite boring...slept through the morning till the early afternoon even...and well tonight had to be different and spontaneous or i might lose my mind... so a thought crossed my mind during the late afternoon... while i was giving a tour of my new house to my relatives... i suddenly remembered something when i was pointing out our water tank at the back of the house... in the old house... i used to climb our water tank so that i can climb up to the roof of the house and well just stay there... do nothing... sometimes think of stuff... and well even waited for a solar eclipse to happen... but anyway that was in the old house... this time around the water tank was higher than our roof... so i suddenly thought of something... why not try to relive the old times... find somewhere high and isolated to try to sift through thoughts...

so i waited till it was late enough then i looked for my gloves... then i changed my slippers for sandals so that they won't fall off... i unlocked the door to the balcony and looked around... i had to hide for a while because i saw the guard patrolling... it suddenly felt like i was infiltrating our house... i hopped off from the balcony to the roof and slowly and steadily headed for the water tank... the roof creaked a little from my weight so i had to move fast... as i reached the water tank... i immediately grabbed hold of the metal ladder and slowly climbed up... the thing creaked too but it didn't shake so i had nothing to be afraid of... as i got to the middle... i looked around again to make sure no one saw what i was doing... then after a few more bars i made it to the top... when i got there i didn't immediately stand... i just sat and looked around... trying to assess what i really did... then i thought that it would be useless if i didn't make the most of my time up there... so i finally stood up and took a good look of everything around me... the view was excellent... it was so calm and serene... it was a clear sky... even if it wasn't a full moon the moon shone brightly as well as the stars... it was quite cool up there too... after a while... i had to sit down... since i was trying to relive old times... i decided to try and meditate... think of stuff that have been going on in my life... every now and then i had to look down to see if the guard was there so my concentration kept on shifting... but i was able to reflect on some stuff which i think was not really any different from the reflections i have already made... but it was nice doing it somewhere above the world... it somehow had a different effect... well after a while... i decided to go back down... i climbed down but this time around i was able to do it much faster... probably because i got used to it when i went up... i got back on the roof and back up the balcony... i locked the door and well... mission accomplished... no one in the house found out and i guess that made it more exciting for me...

now that i've written about it... some thoughts crossed my mind... the feeling i felt while doing this was a mixture of worry and excitement... fear and bravery... craziness and logical reasoning... with all these mized up i guess... i couldn't even pinpoint why exactly i did what i did... one reason that comes to mind is to fight off boredom... but i don't feel that was the only reason... somehow it just feels great to do something out of context... to do something spontaneous... but that doesn't stop there... it was also nice to do something secretly as well as stealthily... to do something that nobody will find out unless you tell them... it was also nice to relive an experience... to do something nostalgic... i guess i can think of a thousand reasons... but in the end... i feel happy for myself... i did it... and i survived to tell you about it... i guess that is what counts too in the end... despite the perils and danger... i'm alive... and that is an important feeling...

lesson

i found a particular song in phantom of the opera to be quite interesting as well as very insightful... the lyrics are...

Learn to Be Lonely

By: Minnie Driver

Child of the wilderness

Born into emptiness

Learn to be lonely

Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you

Comfort and care for you

Learn to be lonely

Learn to be your one companion

Ever dreamed out in the world

There were arms to hold you?

You’ve always known

Your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness

Child of the wilderness

Learn to be lonely

Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely

Life can be lived

Life can be loved

Alone.

as to how true this is... i can't tell... but it seems to be a nice lesson to learn... just in case...

song

this day has finally ended... i only had one class which was from 730 to 830 but since i arrived late i had to cut it and instead i went straight to the rose sale booth... as early as 830 it was already open and was already acccepting orders... i was already warned beforehand that it was going to be a busy day not only for the booth but also for the harana team which i was part of... since i didn't know how the booth operated i just concentrated my time on the harana team... that was tiring... we had to run from place to place which could have been on opposite sides of the campus... we also had to meet deadlines because the person we needed to serenade would only be there at a certain time... sometimes we also had to sing in front of the class especially if the timeslot given was during a class... we had to sing to all kinds of people... even teachers... we also got to sing inside the cafeteria which drew a lot of attention... on account that the song had a gay theme to it... we also entertained a few special requests so we had to learn some new songs immediately... well that is a basic narration of how i spent valentine's day... yes... i almost forgot to mention that...

come to think of it... last year's valentine's day... i spent my time in air force base somewhere... accompanying cadets on their field trip... it was a saturday and well even though i was with some familiar faces... it was still weird that was the way i spent valentine's... fortunately that night the LHC decided to have their own gimik which made the day a bit better... this year though the day was spent in school... and even though we serenaded people here and there... somehow valentine's day had a different feeling for me... the day went by differently... singing to these people... some i knew... some i didn't... it sort of affected me... it just somehow made me a little happy that in some way i was able to divert my energy and time to making their day a little extra special... i was never confident in my singing but somehow as the day went on and my confidence level slowly went up... but that didn't guarantee louder singing because at the end of the day we were all so tired that we could barely sing a whisper... well at least i couldn't...

anyway for some reason i don't consider how i spent valentine's day for the past two years a waste... well for this year... seeing the reactions on the faces of those we serenaded somehow exuded their own gratitude... at least being thanked was fulfilling enough for me...

i think i'd miss this feeling of tiring myself out for others... but somehow... i would also like to reserve some for myself... i know it sounds a bit selfish but i guess each and every person deserves some energy and time to himself too...

dance

i got to watch "shall we dance" hours ago and the movie is still fresh in my mind... it was good and it turned out better than i expected it to be... it was actually to a certain extent... inspiring... i myself have been dancing a lot lately on account of the upcoming alumni homecoming... i can't even remember how i got hooked to dancing... i remember my mom trying to teach me to dance ballroom but somehow i was just weirded out then... but all of a sudden... i found it interesting... first opportunity came when it was van's debut... she had almost everyone in the block participate and we were all taught how to dance... it was really fun then considering that there was really someone there who knew how to choreograph... next opportunity came when joana decided to perform ballroom for celadon ball 2004... and once again it was fun... and now enzo, jacky, iris, and i are choreographing the dance for celadon ball 2005... i can't believe how fast time flies... and how much dancing i've done in just two years of my life... but ballroom is just one part of it... there was also hiphop during the christmas party and as well as my addiction to dancemaniax... all of these have kept me moving recently and it really has spiced things up in my life... i never imagined myself to be a dancer... fine... wushu as most people have said is like a dance... but still the dancing i've been doing is much different than that... it's different especially for ballroom... it isn't a solo like wushu is... and there is much more involved in it than simple movements of your own body... because there is someone else's that you have to take into account... as the cliche goes... it takes two to tango... therefore in life we need the other... not just any other... but that someone who you will care for and will care for you also... someone who will dance to the same beat... someone who is willing to dance with you...

parts

i just watched cyrano...and well it was wonderful... i was actually hyped up abt it because i've read the book and i've watched the Hollywood version entitled Roxanne and i loved the story on both occasions... this time i watched it translated in tagalog which is actually not that bad... but along with this comes some reflections that i have from the play...

in our lives we are meant to play certain parts... these are assigned to us somehow by an unknown force... we play the part of a student... the part of a friend... the part of a sibling... all these parts we have to play... each one unique and have their own qualities... but there are times that these parts are suddenly forced upon us... we simply don't want to play them... sometimes we even hate them... and here comes the dilemma... there are some people i admire that chose to change the parts that they are playing... they risk and take the chance of changing what role they should play... some of them were successful... while others failed and were forced to face reality... but there are also those certain few who make the most out of the parts they have... like cyrano... being in that position... in that situation... ensuring that the one he loves is happy even if it meant giving that person away... must have been really painful for him... but as he accepted his fate... he moved as he should... he tamed his heart... he redirected his feelings... through beautiful words of poetry he was able to show yet at the same time hide what his true feelings were... he made the most out of the situation he was in... some people associate what he did with cowardice... but for me i see it as courage that stares fear in the eye... as the problem weighs down his heart he makes himself grow stronger by acknowledging what he must do... it's a constant war in which heart and mind battle it out for control... and as time passes by... even if in the end heart will win... the war was well fought... and for that alone... i admire the character of cyrano de bergerac...

"the fundamental option of a happy Celadon..." 

"shooting for a successful Celadon..." 

"taking care of Celadon's past, present, and future..." 

"where everyone's interests are accounted for..." 

elections

elections are just around the corner and well everybody is doing their best to campaign... but since there is no guarantee of winning... i would like to dedicate this post to those who have helped me along the way... the following pictures show the campaign materials that were made for me... the idea is all thanks to Tristan Rosario (galing mo talaga!)... but of course this would not have been possible if it weren't for the wonderful people who endorsed me in the pictures: Dr. Ibarra, Chair of the Dept. of Accounting and Finance... Mr. Ambeth Ocampo of the History Dept...Chris Tiu of the Ateneo Blue Eagles (special mention to John Go...thanks!)... Dr. Locker of the Theology Dept... anyway aside from this there are other stuff worth mentioning... first of all congratulations to Jules Ang for winning the Best Student Leader Award of COA and congratulations to Celadon for winning the Most Outstanding Organization Award of COA... congratulations also to the other projects of Celadon that were nominated in various awards: Gratia, Aling Lahi, and Chinoy... congratulations also to Lady Celadons for winning the IAC Women's B division... wow things are really going great for Celadon... hopefully it will be greater as Celadon Week: Oriental Splendor is just around the corner too... last but not the least... i would like to greet Raechelle, my "daughter," a happy happy birthday! :D